I’d like a number two, large size, with a coke

Well this was a bad time to start a diet.

My husband is on the ketogenic diet…and to be supportive, I agreed to drastically cut down my carb and sugar intake (because really, that’s all I ate.)  Well…being that it’s day 11 of my IVF…I’m in a motherfucking mood [IVF drugs can cause mood swings, but I’m pretty sure the lack of pizza and chocolate in my stomach is making me cranky].

I’ve just come back from the doctor’s office and they said my eggs are growing fine…I have a couple of 19s and 20s (millimeters) and I’ve never had my follicles grow that large before.  Usually with Femara or Clomid, I would have ONE 16mm follicle and that’s it.  So I’m glad that the medications are working.  But shit…it fucking hurts to walk.  The pain and bloating of my abdomen is making me waddle like a pregnant lady…and I’m not even pregnant.  And the doctor tells me that I should only expect like 1-3 viable embryos, once everything is completed.  Because even if they take out 10 eggs, after fertilization and testing, you really only get a few good eggs.  Well shit, if I only get one egg out of this, then I would say it’s not even worth it.  Plus, they said my pain and discomfort is only going to get worse, once they do the egg retrieval surgery.  These 19 and 20mm follicles which house the actual eggs, will start to fill up with liquid when the eggs are removed.  They are going to give me some medication to help shrink the follicles back down, but I will feel pain for a week or so.

I also have to start taking antibiotics tonight, which may cause severe nausea.  And I have to start taking a stool softener because I will get constipation from all of this.

So…shit is about to get worse and I MAY only get like two eggs out of this??

It’s time to fuck this diet in the asshole and get me some Mcdonalds.  Peace out.


The 6th Day

It’s day six of IVF…and it’s going okay.  Okay in the sense that I have to endure shooting up drugs into my stomach every night like a junkie whore.  So…it’s not exactly unicorns and rainbows.  Luckily, my husband is doing a great job at injecting me with Menopur and Follistim every night.  And I’m so lucky that I have a husband who is OCD and is able to follow instructions after only seeing it done once.  Because when we went to our “injection training,” I immediately became overwhelmed and lost.  When there are too many steps in a process, my brain shuts off and I can’t comprehend what the fuck to do.  So yes, I’m grateful that I have a husband who is willing to mix the medications and shove a needle into me every day.

I made the mistake of youtubing IVF shots and one video title was, I almost died, ICU after egg retrieval.  My mistake.  Never googling IVF shots again.

So far, I haven’t experienced much side effects of the drugs.  I do get headaches if I don’t drink enough water and electrolytes – as the drugs make you dehydrated.  And I am starting to feel the first signs of abdominal cramping.  I know this pain will only get worse once all my eggs start growing exponentially, all at the same time.  Like a little egg farm in my belly.  But overall, it’s been okay.  Talk to me in a few days though….

All I can say is….this shit better work.  Otherwise… it’s like I set $12,000 on fire for fun.