Burn the witch

Yesterday I tried something interesting…I went to a resonant healer.  A resonant healer is someone who heals your ailments through the use of vibrations and energy.  Possibly similar to Japanese reiki, the healing restores the flow of your life force energy and it unblocks and balances your chakras and energizes your cells to a higher frequency.  I know…what the fuck right?  Am I wasting more of my money again?  I’ve tried crystals, psychics, witchcraft, hypnosis therapy, Chinese acupuncture…a little voodoo magic won’t hurt right?  So you can see, I’m open to trying almost anything.  And before you roll your little eyeballs at me, I just want to say…dude, witchcraft works.  But that is a story for another time.  [*Disclaimer: Don’t worry, I did not use witchcraft to try and get pregnant…I don’t want to birth demon baby Lucifer from Hell]

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So back to resonant healing.  The doctor…and yes he’s a real live doctor who got his license in chiropractic medicine…seemed normal enough.  He explained to me what resonant healing was, his technique of barely touching you, and what he tries to accomplish.  He said he wants my body to heal itself, and by using frequencies and vibrations and energies, he tells my body to fix its own shit.  Okay, sure sure.  The doctor began by trying to dig into my history.  He said there must have been something traumatic that happened to my body a long time ago.  Actually yes, back in 2002 I suffered a head injury where I flew off a skateboard and landed on my back and bludgeoned my brain and had to be hospitalized for it.  The doctor believes that’s it…that was the start of my downfall.  Basically, whenever severe trauma occurs to a body, it fucks shit up.  He said my body is all messed up because of this one fall, and I need to open up blockages in my body with his healing technique.  He said this is why I have headaches, lower back pain that came out of nowhere (remember I thought it was bone cancer?), and infertility.  He also said he knows my reproductive organs aren’t working properly because I have uterine fibroids…I must have some kind of blockage (not physical blockage, but you know, life flow spiritual blockage and shit).

One thing that turned me off was when the doctor decided to become a psychic for 5 minutes and tried to READ me.  No…no no…nonono.

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He was so wrong, that I almost laughed in his face.  If you’re not a real psychic, don’t try to read people.  Because YOU CAN’T READ ME SON.  In all honesty, I might be a hard person to read if you don’t know me…but still, don’t do it.  You’re a healer…HEAL.

Anyway, we began the treatment shortly after.  I laid face down for 30 minutes, and at 5 minute intervals, the doctor came over and pressed my back and lightly touched parts of my body, mostly my lower back, butt, thighs, and neck areas.  The disconcerting thing was the other patient lying next to me was snoring like a fucking lawnmower.  Kinda hard to relax when there’s a chainsaw lying next to you.  When the treatment was over, I didn’t feel any different.  And I don’t feel any different today.  It’s going to be difficult to tell if this really works, because I won’t feel any immediate results, whereas a patient who suffers from pain, would.  Which brings me to the conclusion, should I keep going or not?  He recommends at least going 10 sessions, once per week, at $65 per session.  That’s a lot of money.  And he wants me to stop seeing my chiropractor and masseuse, because even though he WAS a chiropractor before, he is totally against the practice of cracking bones.  He said it will misalign my body even more and mess up the healing he’s trying to do.

I know a lot of people say that if you are a skeptic and don’t believe in something, or feel negative in any way, then it won’t work.  I don’t believe that.  I feel, things will work or NOT work, regardless of how you feel about it.  If something is truly real, it should work on a nonbeliever.

So make me believe doc.

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*Note: If anyone has any other “healer” recommendations, I would be glad to hear it.  I’ve heard of healers who touch you once, and you’re cured.  None of this, come back 10 times at $65 per session business.  That makes me think you’re in it for the money.  But who knows?

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To our 9th island

On June 14, 2016 I wrote some thoughts about gun control…that I want to bring up again in light of the tragedy in Las Vegas last night.  Here were my thoughts from 2016:

Today I watched a video from Trevor Noah’s The Daily Show.  It’s perfect and it’s really the way I feel about all these mass shootings.  Did you know, we’ve already had 180 mass shootings in the United States this year…180.  And it’s only June [2016].  We have six more months to go people.  Imagine the damage and the lives lost that will…and yes…WILL happen in the next coming months?  Last year alone we had 371 mass shootings.  It’s fucking unbelievable.  And what’s worse, is that we’re doing nothing about it.

Gun control IS an issue in this country, whether you agree or not.  It is way too fucking easy to get a gun here.  Omar Mateen, the shooter in the Orlando nightclub, bought two guns LEGALLY.  He was already investigated by the FBI in 2013 and 2014 and he was listed on two federal watch lists.  And yet…he could still obtain a firearms license and bought two guns one week before he decided to murder 50 people.  Ummm…don’t you think something is wrong with that picture??  How the eff can someone who was already interviewed by the FBI, who beat his wife, who was mentally unstable, who associated himself with radical parties…purchase guns legally?  HOW. THE. FUCK.  But no…it’s not about guns.  It’s never about guns.  Instead, our society blames terrorism, blames radical Islam, blames ISIS, blames the Muslim religion, blames fucking turbans for what happened.  No.  Nonononono.  It’s because a crazy ass bigot decided to go apeshit, bought some guns, and killed human beings.  He actually went to the gun store three times in one week…like hey I’m going to buy a gun.  Wait I need a larger gun.  Oh yah, I need bullets to kill people.  Yep…no red flags there….

Yes…even if we did have stricter gun laws, people can still buy guns on the black market…or on the back streets of Kalihi.  Yes…that will happen.  But our country still needs to make it more difficult for people to buy guns legally.  Look at 9/11.  Terrorists used airplanes to murder a shitload of people.  And what did our country do in response?  Our government scrambled like hell to make it fucking impossible to travel.  We now have to stand in the longest fucking lines at the airport, waiting to take off our shoes, our jackets, put tiny useless 3 ounce bottles of liquid into quart size ziplock bags, and walk though x-ray machines.  We suffer through pat-downs and wand metal detectors and TSA agents making you throw away your fucking triple AAA battery for your noise-cancelling headphones.  That is what happened.  And that is what is necessary in order to make it harder for a crazy sunofabitch to hijack a Boeing airliner.

So why not guns?  I think people need to start suffering in order to purchase a fucking ASSAULT RIFLE.  I mean sure…still allow people to buy them…you know Second Amendment and all that shit.  Maybe I’ll buy a gun too.  But maybe… maybe I should get denied…since in the last 10 minutes my google history shows: Omar Mateen, why is it legal to buy assault rifles, what kind of gun was used in shooting, metal wand detectors, 9/11 planes, bigot, 2nd amendment, and game of thrones.  I feel like those could be red flags.  One more google history search for “president assassination” and I should be on the FBI watch list.  WHICH SHOULD FUCKING PROHIBIT ME FROM BUYING A GUN.

Look…our country cannot stop every thing from happening.  I get that.  And they can’t put regulations on every little thing either.  I mean…a serial killer could start murdering people with metal spoons.  Is the U.S. going to start requiring background checks to buy metal spoons?  No.  Because that’s ridiculous.  People use cars as weapons all the time to run over pedestrians…yet there are no regulations when it comes to purchasing a car…albeit a credit check.  We cannot regulate everything.  But we can make it harder for a psychopath to buy a gun [a weapon which is purely used to kill things] legally in the United States.  Maybe it wouldn’t have stopped Mateen from killing 50 people…but maybe it would have made a difference.

And maybe it would have made a difference in Las Vegas.  Maybe not.  But, maybe it would have made it more difficult for Stephen Paddock to purchase AR-15-style assault rifles to murder 59 people and severely injure over 527 others.

I know people are saying its too early to talk about gun control…and instead we need to focus on grieving and helping the victims of this horrific violence.  Sure…okay…respect.  But when the fuck is the right time to talk about it???  How long do we need to wait?  Do we need another headline stating “United States’ deadliest mass shooting in history” to get the ball rolling?  I mean what the fuck do we need to do if not stricter gun laws?  Does every single hotel in the universe need to check the luggage of every single guest??  Do we need pat-downs upon entry and exit of every building over 5 stories tall??  Should every single citizen be subjected to intense psychological examination upon turning age 18?

I don’t know, but fucking DO SOMETHING.

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