Yesterday I tried something interesting…I went to a resonant healer. A resonant healer is someone who heals your ailments through the use of vibrations and energy. Possibly similar to Japanese reiki, the healing restores the flow of your life force energy and it unblocks and balances your chakras and energizes your cells to a higher frequency. I know…what the fuck right? Am I wasting more of my money again? I’ve tried crystals, psychics, witchcraft, hypnosis therapy, Chinese acupuncture…a little voodoo magic won’t hurt right? So you can see, I’m open to trying almost anything. And before you roll your little eyeballs at me, I just want to say…dude, witchcraft works. But that is a story for another time. [*Disclaimer: Don’t worry, I did not use witchcraft to try and get pregnant…I don’t want to birth demon baby Lucifer from Hell]
So back to resonant healing. The doctor…and yes he’s a real live doctor who got his license in chiropractic medicine…seemed normal enough. He explained to me what resonant healing was, his technique of barely touching you, and what he tries to accomplish. He said he wants my body to heal itself, and by using frequencies and vibrations and energies, he tells my body to fix its own shit. Okay, sure sure. The doctor began by trying to dig into my history. He said there must have been something traumatic that happened to my body a long time ago. Actually yes, back in 2002 I suffered a head injury where I flew off a skateboard and landed on my back and bludgeoned my brain and had to be hospitalized for it. The doctor believes that’s it…that was the start of my downfall. Basically, whenever severe trauma occurs to a body, it fucks shit up. He said my body is all messed up because of this one fall, and I need to open up blockages in my body with his healing technique. He said this is why I have headaches, lower back pain that came out of nowhere (remember I thought it was bone cancer?), and infertility. He also said he knows my reproductive organs aren’t working properly because I have uterine fibroids…I must have some kind of blockage (not physical blockage, but you know, life flow spiritual blockage and shit).
One thing that turned me off was when the doctor decided to become a psychic for 5 minutes and tried to READ me. No…no no…nonono.
He was so wrong, that I almost laughed in his face. If you’re not a real psychic, don’t try to read people. Because YOU CAN’T READ ME SON. In all honesty, I might be a hard person to read if you don’t know me…but still, don’t do it. You’re a healer…HEAL.
Anyway, we began the treatment shortly after. I laid face down for 30 minutes, and at 5 minute intervals, the doctor came over and pressed my back and lightly touched parts of my body, mostly my lower back, butt, thighs, and neck areas. The disconcerting thing was the other patient lying next to me was snoring like a fucking lawnmower. Kinda hard to relax when there’s a chainsaw lying next to you. When the treatment was over, I didn’t feel any different. And I don’t feel any different today. It’s going to be difficult to tell if this really works, because I won’t feel any immediate results, whereas a patient who suffers from pain, would. Which brings me to the conclusion, should I keep going or not? He recommends at least going 10 sessions, once per week, at $65 per session. That’s a lot of money. And he wants me to stop seeing my chiropractor and masseuse, because even though he WAS a chiropractor before, he is totally against the practice of cracking bones. He said it will misalign my body even more and mess up the healing he’s trying to do.
I know a lot of people say that if you are a skeptic and don’t believe in something, or feel negative in any way, then it won’t work. I don’t believe that. I feel, things will work or NOT work, regardless of how you feel about it. If something is truly real, it should work on a nonbeliever.
So make me believe doc.
*Note: If anyone has any other “healer” recommendations, I would be glad to hear it. I’ve heard of healers who touch you once, and you’re cured. None of this, come back 10 times at $65 per session business. That makes me think you’re in it for the money. But who knows?