Life is not about the destination…it’s about the journey to get there

I’ve never experienced a miscarriage before.  I’ve never had a D&C – dilation and curettage surgery before (where the cervix is dilated and they go into your uterus to scrape everything out).  I don’t know what it’s like to give birth to a stillborn child.  But I have experienced the loss of a [potential] baby.  And you ask anyone who has suffered from a failed IVF transfer…it’s the same thing.

Pregnancy loss is just that…the loss of a baby.  And even if your 5 day embryo blastocyst had no heartbeat and never physically attached to your uterus, that doesn’t mean we don’t experience the same level of hurt and grief.  And let me remind you, we just lost out on $12,000.  For some, it can be very financially heartbreaking as well.


For a lot of us, motherhood begins from the very first time you start taking hormone drugs.  Because this is the moment you start doing things for the life of someone else.  Do you think we WANT to shoot up hormones like acid crack cocaine?  No.  We do it in order to support the life of a child.  We literally sacrifice our asses for the benefit of keeping another human being alive.  Which is what parenting is all about, right?  Yes, I don’t know what it’s like to wake up every hour on the hour to feed a baby.  Or change a million diapers at 2:00 in the morning.  But I do know what it’s like to surrender your body and mind to do downright shitty things, just for the sake of a having a child.

So for everyone who already had their nipples fall off due to breastfeeding, just remember that I too, have had physically discomforting and emotionally exhausting things happen as well.  We all share the same pain.  Let’s not compare each other, and instead, support everyone going through the same thing.

Basically, stop being sensitive catty assholes and start being more supportive towards everyone who is just trying to be a parent.

We’re on the same fucking journey.



One thought on “Life is not about the destination…it’s about the journey to get there

  1. I had two beautifully normal pregnancies and then signed up to be a surrogate. I now know the IVF side of things and have a totally new appreciation for all the pain and suffering women who desperately try for babies go through before all the hard “baby in hand”stuff. It’s intense and NOT to be overlooked.

    Liked by 1 person

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