For those of you clueless to the IVF world, 4dp5dt means, 4 days past 5 day transfer…meaning…that I implanted a 5 day old embryo blastocyst and it’s been 4 days since my implantation.

Picture of my two embryos:


It’s actually a boy and a girl.  Bet you can guess which one is the boy…the one emerging LAST out of the cocoon while the girl is busy forming herself into a 5 month old fetus that talks already.

I’m currently in that two week wait for the second time in my life.  Which kind of feels like….you went ALL IN with your shitty poker hand and you’re waiting to see if you win…or you lose your $5000 bet.  For those of you that don’t know, the two week wait is the period after implantation where you wait until you take a blood test that either confirms a pregnancy OR confirms the fact that your uterus remains a nuclear wasteland.


A lot of people have been asking how I feel.  Well…I don’t feel all that great right now.  Because going through the dreaded two week wait is one long mindfuck.  Every symptom you experience, you feverishly google to see if it’s an “early pregnancy symptom.”  Which of course it is….or cancer.  Good old webmd tells me I’m about to die a horrible death every time I google a symptom.


Anyway…I’ve been feeling crampy twinges in my uterus.  It’s not painful, but I feel something.  And women who go through this always hope it’s the embryo attaching to the uterus.  But it could also be a symptom of progesterone shots.  So you really have no fucking clue what it is.  But your brain is constantly on red alert, analyzing every little thing you feel.


This is what’s been going on so far in my two week wait period:

Transfer day.  Spent the day resting at home, and coloring my IVF WTF coloring book!  You can buy it from Amazon here:  IVF WTF book.  Dick pics FTW.

1dp5dt.  Felt mostly normal.  Slight abdominal cramps.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

2dp5dt.  Tired with some crampy twinges in my uterus.

3dp5dt.  Lower back pain and crampy twinges in my uterus…along with a mini anxiety attack.  As I was falling asleep for the night, I woke up suddenly with what felt like a panic attack.  But just a minor one.  Then I experienced a hot flush all over my body.  I actually had to switch sides on the bed with my husband so that I could be directly in front of the AC.


4dp5dt.  A little upset stomach, not very hungry.  A bit restless.  Mid back pain now (which I know is no way related to pregnancy…I just have a shit back).  My skin feels a little tingly.  And my head feels weird…like fuzzy and on the verge of having a headache.  And I’m googling symptoms of course.  Which resulted in the internet telling me that I’m currently going through menopause.  Okay.

So…I don’t know what the hell is happening.  But it’s not fun.  I guess I just have to wait and see if I do hit that royal flush and win this fucking shit.  Or lose….again.


Stay updated with my Instagram page @IVFisabitch


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