Diet always starts tomorrow

Ever since this long ass break from IVF, my blogs have been few and far between.  Since my life is uninteresting and mundane without my horrific medical procedures, there’s nothing significant to report on.  I’m still on hiatus from IVF…and when I will start back up again is a big fat TBD.

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The only thing I’m currently working on is this god awful ketogenic diet that I have been on for two weeks.  And you ask…WHY are you on this diet?  Well, after watching a documentary on Netflix about this diet’s potential to “cure” diseases and such, I decided to try it.  Prior to starting this diet, I normally would binge eat every day and get stomach aches.  I thought hmm…maybe I should change what I’m eating so I don’t feel like shit all the time?  And maybe, just MAYBE, it’ll have a positive effect on my infertility and the many other 23 health issues I have.  It doesn’t hurt to try right?

But oh…it does hurt.  It hurts A LOT.

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When you live on a diet of carbohydrates and sugar for 36 years, your body goes into shock when you quit eating those things cold turkey.  I’ve had headaches, fatigue, muscle aches and pains, cramping, ear ringing, sugar and carb cravings, itchy skin and MAJOR IRRITABILITY.

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I have been hangry every fucking day, and my patience has been zero to nil.  Pretty sure I could star in the upcoming season 2 of Making a Murderer: Tales of the Ketogenic Diet.  But it’s now week three and I am adjusting to it….slowwwwwwwly.  My cravings for a fucking piece of bread hasn’t disappeared, but I have found ways around it.  Like making my own bread out of weird ass ingredients.  And every night I’ve been eating “healthy” ice cream, which probably isn’t good because it still has carbs and sugar in it.  But it’s been keeping me alive, like literally ALIVE.  And keeping my husband alive because I haven’t murdered him in his sleep yet.

Even though I constantly want to punch everyone in the face, I am getting better.  Really, I am.

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As for my friends and family…I’m sorry in advance that you possibly have to deal with a raging carb-a-holic.  Be advised, if you shovel bread and cookies in front of my face, this WILL BE ME.  You have been forewarned.

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